Pilot
Watched · Unknown date · 23 min
TV SERIES · 2003
Two and a Half Men
CompletedEnded
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Comedy
YOUR PROGRESS 100%262 / 262 episodes
AIRED EPISODESCaught up262 / 262 watched
YOUR RATING Not rated yetTMDB 7.5 / 10
WATCH TIME92h 2mEstimated from episode runtimes
ONE EPISODE AT A TIME
Seasons & episodes 12
Watched Available Upcoming / date pending
Season 124 episodes · 200324 / 24 watched
Big Flappy Bastards
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
Phase One, Complete
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Merry Thanksgiving
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
That Was Saliva, Alan
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
An Old Flame with a New Wick
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Just Like Buffalo
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Can You Feel My Finger?
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Season 224 episodes · 200424 / 24 watched
Back Off, Mary Poppins
Watched · Unknown date · 30 min
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Watched · Unknown date · 30 min
A Bag Full of Jawea
Watched · Unknown date · 30 min
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Bad News from the Clinic?
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Yes, Monsignor
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Lungful of Alan
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair)
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
It Was 'Mame', Mom
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Does This Smell Funny to You?
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Season 324 episodes · 200524 / 24 watched
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Madame and Her Special Friend
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Something Salted and Twisted
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Santa's Village of the Damned
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
That Special Tug
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
My Tongue Is Meat
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Ergo, the Booty Call
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
And the Plot Moistens
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Arguments for the Quickie
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Season 424 episodes · 200624 / 24 watched
Working for Caligula
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Who Is This Vod Kanockers?
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Pot-Smokin' Monkey
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Apologies for the Frivolity
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Release the Dogs
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Kissing Abe Lincoln
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Walnuts and Demerol
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
My Damn Stalker
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Young People Have Phlegm Too
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
I Merely Slept with a Commie
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
It Never Rains in Hooterville
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Smooth as a Ken Doll
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Prostitutes and Gelato
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Season 519 episodes · 200719 / 19 watched
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
City of Great Racks
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Meander to Your Dander
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
The Soil Is Moist
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Winky-Dink Time
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Look at Me Mommy, I'm Pretty
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Fish in a Drawer
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
If My Hole Could Talk
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Season 624 episodes · 200824 / 24 watched
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Pie Hole, Herb
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Jock Strap in Hell
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
It's Always Nazi Week
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Pinocchio's Mouth
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
The Mooch at the Boo
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The Devil's Lube
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Thank God for Scoliosis
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
I Think You Offended Don
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
I'd Like to Start with the Cat
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
My Son's Enormous Head
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The Two Finger Rule
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Above Exalted Cyclops
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Baseball Was Better with Steroids
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Season 722 episodes · 200922 / 22 watched
818-JKLPUZO
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
For the Sake of the Child
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Give Me Your Thumb
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Untainted by Filth
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Warning, It's Dirty
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Yay, No Polyps!
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Crude and Uncalled For
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Tinkle Like a Princess
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
I Found Your Moustache
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Watched · Unknown date · 18 min
I Called Him Magoo
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Gumby with a Pokey
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
This Is Not Gonna End Well
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Season 816 episodes · 201016 / 16 watched
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
Springtime on a Stick
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Good Time in Central Africa
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
Dead from the Waist Down
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
That Darn Priest
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
Season 924 episodes · 201124 / 24 watched
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
People Who Love Peepholes
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Nine Magic Fingers
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
The Squat and Hover
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
Thank You for the Intercourse
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Frodo's Headshots
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
What a Lovely Landing Strip
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
A Possum on Chemo
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Not in My Mouth!
Watched · Unknown date · 19 min
The War Against Gingivitis
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Palmdale, Ech
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Grandma's Pie
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Mr. Hose Says "Yes"
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Why We Gave Up Women
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The Straw in My Donut Hole
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Season 1023 episodes · 201223 / 23 watched
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Big Bag of Dog
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
You Do Know What the Lollipop's For
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Ferrets, Attack!
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Something My Gynecologist Said
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
I Scream When I Pee
Watched · Unknown date · 20 min
One Nut Johnson
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Welcome to Alancrest
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
The 9:04 from Pemberton
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Another Night with Neil Diamond
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
My Bodacious Vidalia
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Season 1122 episodes · 201322 / 22 watched
Nangnangnangnang
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
This Unblessed Biscuit
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Bite Me, Supreme Court
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Welcome Home, Jake
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
West Side Story
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
Watched · Unknown date · 22 min
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Season 1216 episodes · 201416 / 16 watched
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Glamping in a Yurt
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Alan Shot a Little Girl
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Here I Come, Pants!
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
For Whom the Booty Calls
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Boompa Loved His Hookers
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
Of Course He's Dead (1)
Watched · Unknown date · 18 min
Of Course He's Dead (2)
Watched · Unknown date · 21 min
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THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE STORY
Cast & creators
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YOUR WATCHING DIARY
Latest 20Watch history
S12 · E16 — Of Course He's Dead (2)Unknown date
S12 · E15 — Of Course He's Dead (1)Unknown date
S12 · E14 — Don't Give a Monkey a GunUnknown date
S12 · E13 — Boompa Loved His HookersUnknown date
S12 · E12 — A Beer-Battered Rip-OffUnknown date
S12 · E11 — For Whom the Booty CallsUnknown date
S12 · E10 — Here I Come, Pants!Unknown date
S12 · E09 — Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, LyndseyUnknown date
Show more history
S12 · E08 — Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried TurkeyUnknown date
S12 · E07 — Sex with an Animated Ed AsnerUnknown date
S12 · E06 — Alan Shot a Little GirlUnknown date
S12 · E05 — Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.Unknown date
S12 · E04 — Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-EightUnknown date
S12 · E03 — Glamping in a YurtUnknown date
S12 · E02 — A Chic Bar in IbizaUnknown date
S12 · E01 — The Ol' Mexican SpinachUnknown date
S11 · E22 — Oh, WALD-E, Good Times AheadUnknown date
S11 · E21 — Dial 1-900-Mix-A-LotUnknown date
S11 · E20 — Lotta Delis in Little ArmeniaUnknown date
S11 · E19 — Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding ShangUnknown date
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